Mirror, Mirror, walking beside me

I've always understood that my son is a mirror of myself.  I've always been sensitive.  I've always seen the same sensitivity in him.  I used to worry about it.  So I worked hard on making him a little more capable, even at an early age, of managing his sensitivity.  Mostly just talking, sharing Aha! moments and watching other people.

To be honest, just because I am sensitive doesn't mean I am sweet.  I am probably the moodiest person on the earth that isn't medicated or institutionalized.  I can always see when I am getting ridiculous just by what my son is reflecting back to me.

Sometimes its scary how easy he is to manipulate by being different myself - when he's grumpy I can just be silly for a second and voila, whole new kid.  Then sometimes he pulls some stubborness out and its hysterical to feel him throwing me for a loop and doing the unexpected.  Its not fun to watch him reflecting his father but at least its easy to get him to switch gears for mommy time.

Lately with the stress of starting school I've tried being very calm, very even and very cuddly with him (because he's been so upset that Mrs. J isn't like Mrs. G his pre-k teacher, all lovey and snuggly).  Its been a struggle because I've not been feeling calm, even and cuddly.  I've been feeling pretty much the opposite.

I've also been very observant and unattached a lot in the evenings, letting him act out his little drama's, because it gives me a great picture of his day without having to 'grill' him (which if you read back to the first day wasn't a very good idea).

I think round about last weekend and more so this week, I've been noticing him mimicking his teacher.  Some of the things he says as Mrs. J are... well, um,.... not nice.  I think it could just be how he perceives things she says which might really not be what she is saying (jeesh I hope not).

But last night was kind of the final straw.  I've put up now for at least 5 days of my child trying to admonish me in a grown up way and not understanding what he was doing.  I've put up with him assigning me green, yellow or red square on the behavior calendar for the evening simply based on did I do what he wanted (i.e. give him dessert first, let him run with the scissors...whatever).  Last night he starts to yell at me. 

"You are not listening!  You are not completing the assignment!  You are ruining everyone else's time!  Thats it!  You are NOT a part of the K-team!"  I think my eyes must have shown how shocked I was because his face instantly melted from nasty looking to like he was going to cry.

I asked him why he was yelling at me and he said "Thats what Mrs. J tells us to do to ____ when he wouldn't finish tracing his letters (not putting kids names in here)."  I said "WHAT?" 

Well, long story short.  Thats not precisely what Mrs. J says for the other kids to do to their classmates but that is how my little walking mirror is reflecting it.

I've decided to just sit on the whole deal for a bit because I'm just {can't even think of words here}.

I do appreciate the times I see him expressing himself very well and I can see he is mimicking Mrs. J  I do appreciate how he is trying to incorporate his lessons into his life at home.  Its how he absorbs things instead of just 'learning' them.  But this...

I simply left him with "I know I've told you that you MUST listen to your teacher but I've been teaching you since you could talk to think for yourself.  You know what nasty is.  Are you a nasty kid?  Be true to yourself."

We'll see how it goes.