My son keeps me young.  I, of course, during this snowy weekend, wanted to stay in bed or on the couch with a book or Season 4 of Lost on dvd.  But my child had other ideas.  Actually, his only idea was wanting to go sled riding.  But as much as I let the gears turn I couldn't think of a single local (as in I'm not driving in this) hill suitable for sled riding that wasn't tree covered or that didn't end in the river.  So, I launched all the sand toys into the back yard and started "oh, come on!  this can be fun!" and sure enough he caught on....

Ah, pretty.


Aw, cute.


The boy has always got to be building something.


Snowball fight in the making.


Snowball fight over, D lost when a very packed snowball went through the snow fort, spraying his face with a fine stinging mist before smacking into his cheek. The howling was funny but I managed a straight face and look of concern "ohhhh, thats terrible, should we go in?" Of course it was "nononono". But there was much face stinging and he wanted his scarf, which we then realized was IN the car which was encased in snow. Tea towel to the rescue.


But now we have these big piles of destroyed snow forts snow. What to do? Pile them together.


Pat it down, stomp it down, let it sit over night.


Then start digging in.


Refining the interior.


Invite some friends (2 neighbor girls were in awe).


Ooo, wait, silly me, needs "protection and decoration" - rain gutters in case of freezing rain (which we did get but not enough to puddle down over his doorway or on his floor) and a flag.


Not even hot chocolate would coax him in, nor dark, nor soaking wetness freezing on him. Sympathy for his frozen mommy did though. Aww sweetie.

Now :)

As I sit here and ponder this question I'm just stuck on "now, every day".

I mean I've had those hugely joyful moments - the birth of my son, post-surgery after a nasty surgery with a "woot! i'm alive" feeling, fun days with all the kids of my family.

But beyond moments of incredible joy, if we are talking about happy, when have I been the most happy?  I'd say for the last 3-4 years.  After I finally realized being happy was simply a choice I could make no matter what else was happening.

I love simple lol.

So.  After 3 months of SO much work, the school board votes 6-3 to keep my son's award winning school OPEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Celebrate?  Move on to a new cause? Rest?  What next?

Last night my reaction was 100mph straight ahead - how to keep all these 'moving' parents moving for other good things...then this a.m. my reaction was more to take the time to give thanks (done, urge to move on again, lol).  So I log into My Gaia and get some advice from my number, my tarot card and my horoscope. 


I forgot I can't cut and paste the info here.  I'm trying to save it as a pic to upload.  No way I'm retyping it all....

Too funny.

Lets see if you can see....

Nope.

This way...

Nope.

Forget it.

I'm hating this blog stuff.

Anyway.

Yay for my kids school.  Time to make a peace with whats done before moving on to whats next.

Not sure what it is about me posting here but everything becomes impossible in my Gaia blog.

Lets try this with NO fancy anything and see what happens.

I don't have a lot of people in my friends list here.  But boy are they a great bunch.

I do keep up with everything you all are doing even if I am not leaving comments and checking in.

Some of the recent things that have really REALLY moved me here, just to share, in case someone is reading this that could use some more great friends:

Joy Bringer lives up to her name, every day.

Jeff is SO insightful.

Kundan says it so simply.

Deeps!  Dang!  What have I been missing?

Now if only my parenting pals would all get back here.  I'd be so happy :)

Today was Walk to School USA Day.

We always, well nearly always walk to school.

But today there was a whole passel of kids walking to school in a sort of walking school bus and my son had to join the crowd.  They walked down the opposite side of the street we usually take.

My son dubbed it "The Leafy Side" of the street.  Bouncing, pleading, loving "Mom, mom, mom can we PLEASE always walk down the leafy side of the street?!?!?!"

He's so my kid - I love fall.  He loves fall.  Those beautiful rusty looking leaves are impossible to resist, wading through, kicking them up, listening to their crunch, wanting to hunker down, scoop up a handful and sniff deeply.  Mmmmmmm.

yeah, ok, so its nigh impossible to cross our main street at my corner but for my kid we'll play the Frogger game every a.m.

I am really lovign myGaia page.  I check it first thing each day.  But this morning I finally saw something that made me think "share!".

There is a wonderful quote by Paulo Coehlo that can be taken so many different ways.

"Anyone who has known happiness will never again be able humbly to accept sadness."

If you had shared that quote with me a year or even two ago, I would have shared "oh I KNOW!  Its why I get so crazy trying to get people to listen, its why I always feel so impatient, its why I always am avoiding unpleasantness, its why I always try and cheer everyone else up".

Over time, over the hills over overwhelming joy and through the valleys of deep sadness, I've come to realize that its more appropriate for me to now think of such a quote focusing on "humbly" or "accept".

I no longer accept sadness.  I appreciate it.  I no longer humbly do anything.  I celebrate everything.

Its the surest way and the fastests (is that a word?) way to get back to soaring over the happy hills.

Just because an experience, a moment or a feeling hurts doesn't mean it lacks value.

I've always understood that my son is a mirror of myself.  I've always been sensitive.  I've always seen the same sensitivity in him.  I used to worry about it.  So I worked hard on making him a little more capable, even at an early age, of managing his sensitivity.  Mostly just talking, sharing Aha! moments and watching other people.

To be honest, just because I am sensitive doesn't mean I am sweet.  I am probably the moodiest person on the earth that isn't medicated or institutionalized.  I can always see when I am getting ridiculous just by what my son is reflecting back to me.

Sometimes its scary how easy he is to manipulate by being different myself - when he's grumpy I can just be silly for a second and voila, whole new kid.  Then sometimes he pulls some stubborness out and its hysterical to feel him throwing me for a loop and doing the unexpected.  Its not fun to watch him reflecting his father but at least its easy to get him to switch gears for mommy time.

Lately with the stress of starting school I've tried being very calm, very even and very cuddly with him (because he's been so upset that Mrs. J isn't like Mrs. G his pre-k teacher, all lovey and snuggly).  Its been a struggle because I've not been feeling calm, even and cuddly.  I've been feeling pretty much the opposite.

I've also been very observant and unattached a lot in the evenings, letting him act out his little drama's, because it gives me a great picture of his day without having to 'grill' him (which if you read back to the first day wasn't a very good idea).

I think round about last weekend and more so this week, I've been noticing him mimicking his teacher.  Some of the things he says as Mrs. J are... well, um,.... not nice.  I think it could just be how he perceives things she says which might really not be what she is saying (jeesh I hope not).

But last night was kind of the final straw.  I've put up now for at least 5 days of my child trying to admonish me in a grown up way and not understanding what he was doing.  I've put up with him assigning me green, yellow or red square on the behavior calendar for the evening simply based on did I do what he wanted (i.e. give him dessert first, let him run with the scissors...whatever).  Last night he starts to yell at me. 

"You are not listening!  You are not completing the assignment!  You are ruining everyone else's time!  Thats it!  You are NOT a part of the K-team!"  I think my eyes must have shown how shocked I was because his face instantly melted from nasty looking to like he was going to cry.

I asked him why he was yelling at me and he said "Thats what Mrs. J tells us to do to ____ when he wouldn't finish tracing his letters (not putting kids names in here)."  I said "WHAT?" 

Well, long story short.  Thats not precisely what Mrs. J says for the other kids to do to their classmates but that is how my little walking mirror is reflecting it.

I've decided to just sit on the whole deal for a bit because I'm just {can't even think of words here}.

I do appreciate the times I see him expressing himself very well and I can see he is mimicking Mrs. J  I do appreciate how he is trying to incorporate his lessons into his life at home.  Its how he absorbs things instead of just 'learning' them.  But this...

I simply left him with "I know I've told you that you MUST listen to your teacher but I've been teaching you since you could talk to think for yourself.  You know what nasty is.  Are you a nasty kid?  Be true to yourself."

We'll see how it goes.

This came in my mail, I guess saturday, while we were out galavanting.

Maybe because I watched it while very sleepy, but all I could think of in the end was "where would the world be if all the children were taught to love instead of hate". (not just these children either - I see it here in my town)

After watching my son gather other children in love and exploration (he seems to do this wherever we go) for most of the afternoon, it was really a sad way to end the day.

I'll put some pics of the day up over in my photos of our day, probably some time today.